


I like me better when I'm with you

by DanversxLuthorx



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Lena Luthor, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Mutual Pining, OR friends to enemies to friends to lovers, Smut, Top Kara Danvers, the way it should be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:27:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24861550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanversxLuthorx/pseuds/DanversxLuthorx
Summary: Kara always blames herself when others get hurt, despite the fact that she can't always control it. After a while, it gets too much to handle and she closes herself off to everyone around her and, in doing so, reveals the truth to Lena.ORKara loses herself and Lena helps her find her way back.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 13
Kudos: 629





	I like me better when I'm with you

**Author's Note:**

> This is like sometime around season 4ish. Mon-el simply does not exist. POV changes throughout.
> 
> Twitter: @notreallykara
> 
> Shout out to @morganassbitch on twitter for helping me edit

Lena Luthor always prided herself in her ability to keep calm under stressful situations. For example, just today she had already sorted an issue in the L-Corp labs which almost resulted in a fire, determined which employee was leaking unreleased information to the press _and_ sat through two board meetings, both of which ended with sexist men threatening to destroy Lena’s image for not getting their way. And it was only 2pm.

“Miss Danvers is here to see you.”

Lena sighed into her (fifth?) cup of coffee. At least today wouldn’t be all bad.

“Send her up.” Lena replied, holding in the intercom button and slightly confused as to why security had called up to her. Maybe there was a new security guard that had missed the note saying Kara was to be sent up as she pleased. 

It soon became clear as Jess opened her office door, letting Alex rather than Kara in.

“Alex, what can I do for you?” Lena asked in a polite, professional voice. She’d always been weary of the older Danvers. It had something to do with the fact that Alex worked at the DEO and was close to Supergirl - who was related to the person that Lena’s brother devoted his life to destroying. Some part of Lena had always wondered if Alex had ever looked into Lena. Being a Luthor and all. But after years of getting to know her through game nights and after work drinks, Lena felt confident that Alex trusted her. 

“It’s about Kara, actually.” Alex said as she crossed the room. She didn’t take a seat, letting Lena know that this was going to be a short conversation. “Have you heard from her recently?”

Lena thought back to the last time she’d spoken to Kara. They had met up at Noonan’s for a late lunch between meetings, but that had been a week ago.

After an incident at Catco which involved a rogue alien holding basically the entire building hostage with the demand of Supergirl revealing her identity, Kara had been pretty quiet. Lena couldn’t blame her though. It seemed everyone who witnessed it was badly shaken, Kara included. Lena had been in a meeting at L-Corp at the time, so she hadn’t seen the damage it had caused first hand, but luckily Supergirl and Dreamer showed up just in time to deescalate the situation before anyone got seriously hurt. 

“Other than a few texts, not recently no.” Lena replied, her eyebrows drawing together. “Is she still upset after what happened at Catco?”

Lena, try as she might, couldn’t stop her heart rate from rising at the thought of Kara being sad. It was her own fault really. Lena had promised herself that National City would be a new beginning in which she wouldn’t let herself get close to anyone, god knows how that worked out for her in the past. But then Kara somehow stumbled into her office all those years ago and wriggled herself into Lena’s life with her stupid jokes and sunshine personality. One person couldn’t hurt, Lena thought. 

“Yeah, she probably just blames herself.” Alex muttered as she looked away, not getting the answer she’d hoped for. 

“Why would she blame herself?” Lena questioned. “It wasn’t her fault.”

Alex let out a nervous chuckle, bringing her hand to the back of her neck and rubbing it. “Of course.” Lena could sense something was off. “You know what, don’t worry about it. I’m sure she’s fine.” Alex didn’t sound too convincing in Lena’s opinion and part of her wanted to press further, but before she got the chance, Alex was already walking towards the door, muttering a quick thank you before leaving.

It didn’t sit right with Lena. There was something about the interaction with Alex that made Lena think there was more to the story.

“Jess?” Lena called, holding the button that connected to her assistants desk outside. 

“Yes, Miss Luthor?”

“Could you push back my evening meeting to tomorrow morning?”

* * *

Kara wasn’t usually one to feel sorry for herself. Typically, when something happened that upset her, she would take a moment to breathe and then just get on with it. It was the mentality she had to have as Supergirl, she couldn’t just sit around and do nothing when she had a responsibility. Even when she was younger and landed on earth, she didn’t let herself dwell on Krypton, there was too much to learn in order to be accepted. 

Thinking about it now, that was probably a mistake. 

Over the past week, Kara developed a theory; everything she touches gets ruined somehow. It started with Krypton and her family dying. Then she got to earth and the only friend she made, Kenny Lee, died because of her. Then Jeremiah got taken, she all but single-handedly destroyed Alex and Eliza’s lives.

And recently, a rogue alien somehow found out her identity and terrorised Catco with the hopes of exposing her and destroying her life, just like Kara’s mother had done to all of the aliens on that ship. 

Luckily, Nia had shown up as Dreamer and provided a long enough distraction for Kara to change into her suit and take the alien down before he could say anything. Although, in the process Nia got hurt. It wasn’t bad and Nia was fine after a couple of days, but Kara felt an overwhelming amount of guilt. After all, it was her fault. Maybe, if she hadn’t been so determined to have a separate life from Supergirl, none of it would have happened. 

The world, she thought, would truly be better off without Kara Danvers.

That was the thought that encouraged Kara to shut everyone out. If she could just stop being Kara Danvers, then no one she cared about would get hurt. It was a stupid plan, Kara could admit that herself, but it was the only way to keep everyone safe. She could focus entirely on being Supergirl instead. 

Although, shutting people out was easier said than done. Alex was relentless. She showed up at Kara’s apartment almost every night, asking why Kara had been ignoring her during Supergirl missions. Kara just kept ignoring her though, it was better that way. Alex would be less of a target if no one knew she was Supergirl's sister. 

When she hears a knock at her door that night, Kara didn’t even have to look to know it was Alex. Kara was half tempted to just ignore it like the times before, but she stands up, deciding that it was probably time to tell Alex that Kara Danvers was gone. 

Much to her surprise, when Kara opens the door, she sees Lena instead of her sister.

“Lena, hi.” Kara said, surprised to see her instead of Alex. 

Her and Lena’s friendship was strange in Kara’s opinion. Lena was a multi billionaire, the CEO of a company that was changing the world and an all around elite human being. And yet, she still made time for Kara. Lena still showed up to game nights, still gave Kara advice when she needed it, still laughed at her stupid jokes. In the beginning, Kara wondered if maybe Lena knew about her identity and was pulling the old _keep your friends close but your enemies closer_ act, but after months of getting closer, Kara doubted that was the case. 

Lena had even worked with Supergirl, despite how turbulent that relationship had been. Kara knew that Lena could never fully trust Supergirl, it was part of the reason why Kara never told her the truth. She didn’t want to ruin everything between them. 

It seemed now though, with Kara’s new outlook, ruining her friendship with Lena was inevitable.

“Hi.” Lena replied, pausing for a moment as if she was taking Kara in before shaking her head like she suddenly remembered why she was there. “Sorry, Alex said something about you still being upset after Catco last week and I thought maybe potstickers would cheer you up.” Lena said while holding up the takeout container.

That was another thing about their friendship. Lena always seemed to care about Kara in a way that her other friends didn’t. That’s not to say her other friends didn’t care - Kara knew that Nia and the others would always be there for her - but it was different with Lena. 

Part of Kara knew _exactly_ why that was, but she never let herself dwell on it. Thinking about those reasons would only complicate their relationship more. 

Kara quickly ran through a number of excuses, thinking of ways to get Lena to leave. Shutting Lena out as well was the only way to keep her safe, but Lena wouldn’t understand that simply because Kara was _just_ Kara in her eyes. And maybe it was the smell of the potstickers or maybe it was Kara wanting to hold onto how Lena saw her for just a moment longer, but Kara opened the door a bit wider, letting Lena in. 

“You talked to Alex?” Kara asked as she closed the door behind them and then led the way to the kitchen. 

“She dropped by my office at L-Corp this afternoon and asked if I’d heard from you.” Lena explained. 

Kara felt slightly guilty. She had been dodging Lena’s attempts to hangout that whole week, replying to texts with a vague _‘I can’t today, sorry!’._ In reality, Kara wasn’t busy. She hadn’t shown up at Catco at all, but that was to be expected. As the owner of Catco, Lena let everyone who wanted have a few days off after the incident. All Kara had been doing that week was small jobs as Supergirl and avoiding anyone and everyone. 

“Yeah, sorry. I’ve been busy with family things.” That was a lie. 

Kara grabbed a few plates to distract herself from the conversation. It was hard to lie to Lena, Kara found. She wasn’t sure why, she was a pro at it by that point. Kara hid such a huge part of her life from her friend, and as much as she tried to defend that it was for Lena’s own protection, deep down Kara knew it was because she didn’t want to lose her. 

There was just something about Lena that made her feel so _normal._ Like Kara was special enough without Supergirl. Not that it mattered anymore.

“You know, if you need more time off I get it.” Lena said as she opened one of the takeout containers. 

Another wave of guilt hit Kara. Lena didn’t know just yet, but Kara had already filled out a letter of resignation for Catco and was planning on handing it in soon. If she couldn’t be Kara, she couldn’t be a reporter. It was the job she’d worked so hard to get and Kara hated the idea of giving it up, but she couldn’t face the idea of going back to Catco and putting everyone there at risk again, Lena included. 

“Thanks, Lena.” Kara replied. Things would be so much easier if Kara just told Lena everything, but in doing that, she would have to tell her about Supergirl and that would change the way Lena looked at Kara. “Let’s watch a movie.” Kara suggested, trying to avoid that thought for a while longer. Kara just needed to get this over with so she could get on with slowly removing herself from Lena’s life without completely destroying it.

On a normal day when Kara and Lena would share dinner, they would be talking basically nonstop. It was usually about how their days were going or Lena explaining some complicated theory - one that Kara probably already learnt about on krypton, but was content to just listen to Lena talk about - or someday’s they’d talk about things they wanted out of life and the places they wanted to go.

But tonight was different. Kara couldn’t bring herself to learn something new and amazing about Lena. Instead, they ate in silence, only chiming in every so often at the movie. Kara found that it wasn’t even uncomfortable, if anything it made her feel calm. 

A while later, Kara got up to wash her hands after making a mess with her food. Lena just laughed and made an offhand comment _‘You’ve alway been a messy eater’_ and it shouldn’t have made Kara blush, but when she made it to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, her cheeks were definitely red. 

There it was again; that nagging feeling that something was different from Lena and Kara’s other friends. When they first met, Kara just boiled it down to Lena simply being one of the most beautiful people she’d ever seen. So much so that it was distracting. And then they got closer and Kara realised that she _maybe_ had the smallest crush on her friend, but it was more of an admiration than anything. And now, well now doesn’t matter, Kara had to push all her feelings aside. It was better this way.

Kara took a second to splash some cold water on her face before drying it off and going out to find Lena in the kitchen with their empty plates left at the sink and looking at something on the table. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Kara asked and watched as Lena looked up with a confused expression on her face. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t snooping or anything, it was just open and it caught my eye.” Lena said as she held up a letter. 

_Shit._

Lena was holding Kara’s letter of resignation. “You’re quitting Catco?” She asked. Kara knew she couldn’t lie her way out of this one. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Lena looked hurt. Not that Kara could blame her, Lena was the one who encouraged her to become a reporter in the first place. 

“Lena…” Kara reached up to fiddle with her glasses, not really knowing what to say. “It’s just- so much has been happening lately that I can’t handle and I just need a break.” Kara explained. 

Lena dropped the letter and moved closer to Kara. “You can have a break, you know that Kara. But are you sure you want to quit completely.”

Kara felt _weak._

That was a common thing she’d been feeling recently. Like everything around her was spinning out of control, leaving people hurt as she tried to pick up the pieces. 

“Is this because of what happened last week? That wasn’t your fault.” Lena continued, moving closer to Kara and putting her hand on Kara’s arm. 

It _was_ her fault, Kara thought. She’s the reason why Nia got hurt. She was the reason why Kenny Lee died and why Jeremiah got taken away. It was all her fault. Kara thought, maybe she shouldn’t have been the one to survive Krypton. They should have saved someone else. Someone who wouldn’t ruin everything they touched. 

Kara pulled her arm away from Lena’s hand. “It is my fault.” Kara said as her voice broke. 

She couldn’t do this anymore. Kara couldn’t let Lena keep looking at her like she was a good person when all she does is destroy people’s lives. 

“Kara, talk to me.” Lena pleaded, clearly seeing that Kara was hurting. 

“You wouldn’t understand it.”

“I might.” Lena replied. 

“You wouldn’t!” Kara said, letting her frustration get the better of her. “I’ve hurt so many people.” Kara’s voice quivered as she rubbed her forehead, feeling all the pain of the past come up again. “Everything I touch turns bad. I ruin everything, my family, my friends…” 

“You haven’t ruined me.” Lena replied in a soft voice.

It hurt a little more when Lena said that because Kara knew it was true. She was yet to mess up her friendship with Lena, but part of her always knew that as soon as she told her the truth about Supergirl, it would all change. Her friendship with Lena was destined to turn bad. Kara knew that when Lena saw her for who she actually was, she would never forgive her.

But, there was no point anymore. 

“I’ve been lying to you since the day we met.” Kara said, her voice cold. It had to happen like this. The only way to keep Lena safe was to make her hate Kara. That way, Kara couldn’t hurt her.

“What do you mean?” Lena asked, a look of confusion on her face.

“I’m Supergirl, Lena.”

As soon as Kara said it, she could see Lena’s face drop, finally connecting the dots as though she found the missing piece in a puzzle. It only took a second after that for Lena's face to turn cold, her jaw clenching and her eyes glazing over. 

Kara wanted to tell how sorry she was for keeping it a secret, that the only reason she’d done it was because she liked how Lena looked at her and saw _only_ the good parts. But none of that mattered anymore. The truth was out.

Lena looked as though she had a hundred things to say to Kara, but instead just turned on her heel, collected her coat and walked out the door, leaving Kara feeling slightly more broken than she had before. 

* * *

_I’m Supergirl, Lena._

Those three words had been playing on a loop in Lena’s head for the past four days. How could she have been so blinded? It was right in front of her this entire time and Lena just looked past it.

_Kara is Supergirl._

It made sense, in all honesty. Lena always knew there was something different about Kara. She had always acted a little too gentle, always ran off in the middle of conversations. But Lena just made excuse after excuse. Maybe, deep down she’d always known the truth, but was too scared to face the reality that her favourite person had been lying to her the whole time. 

Lena had gone through almost every interaction she could remember with Kara, trying to see just how stupid she’d been. One memory made a laugh fall from her mouth. _I flew here on a bus._ The laugh soon choked up when Lena came to the realisation that their whole friendship was fake.

Kara had been using Lena the whole time, keeping an eye on her, probably waiting until she turned into the next Lex Luthor. It made Lena wonder if everyone around her had the same mindset. Was everyone waiting for the day she would finally snap? Maybe they saw something that Lena couldn’t, maybe they saw more of Lex in Lena than she herself ever wanted to admit. She was practically raised by him, after all. Most of her life was spent looking up to her brother, wanting to impress him because she knew she could never impress Lillian. It wasn’t until the very end that Lena saw him for who he actually was. In those last moments, she looked at him and saw only a monster. 

Lena had done everything she could to separate herself from that world, trying to prove to everyone that she was nothing like Lex and that she had a vision of peace and a need to help people rather than a want to destroy everything she could. 

And Kara, the one person who had ever looked at her like she wasn’t Lex, had been lying the entire time.

Tears threatened to spill down Lena’s cheeks as she poured another glass of the strongest liquid she could find. Part of her felt more betrayed by Kara’s lies than by Lex’s actions. It shouldn’t be that way, Lena thought. She scolded herself for getting too attached to Kara’s friendship, to the way she looked at Lena with soft eyes and a smile on her face that always made Lena feel a little bit safer.

Lena pushed that thought out of her head as she took another sip of her drink. Just as she was appreciating the burning feeling in the back of her throat, the intercom on her desk let out a buzz and Jess’s voice came through.

“Alex Danvers is here to see you, Miss Luthor.”

Lena sighed into her glass. Alex was of no doubt there to convince Lena that Kara hadn’t been using her all those years. Lena wondered what it was they thought she would do. Maybe they thought the best way to keep a close eye on Lena was to have Kara befriend her and get close. 

_God._ She knew this was going to happen. Lena knew that getting too attached to someone would always end up like this. But, she never thought it would be Kara who would ruin her. After all, Kara seemed so good. Everything about her was perfect to Lena, it was one of the reasons why Lena let herself feel the way she felt, why she let herself…

That didn’t matter now. 

“Send her in.” Lena said, pressing the button and straightening her back. Alex was surely part of this whole plan and, in a way, Lena wanted to see what kind of excuse they came up with to defend their lies. 

A moment later, the doors to her office were opening and Alex walked in with a worried look on her face. 

“What do you want?” Lena asked with a cold tone. She was aware of how rude it sounded, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Alex had been lying to her as well. All those game nights, all the drinks they shared together, all of it was lies. 

Alex looked slightly shocked at Lena’s tone, but shook it off and marched over to her desk, dropping into one of the seats. “I hate to do this, but I need a favour, Lena.” Alex asked. She looked tired, Lena noted, like she hadn’t slept in days. 

“A favour?” Lena scoffed. She couldn’t believe Alex had the audacity to come into her office and ask for a _favour_ after she and Kara had been playing her this entire time. 

“None of us have heard from Kara in days and we’re starting to get really worried.” Alex leaned forward, putting her elbows on her knees and rubbing her cheeks like she was stressed. “She’s completely closed herself off and I was hoping you could try talking to her.”

Lena let out a bitter laugh. 

“Why would I do that?” Lena asked. She lifted her glass to her lips and took another sip, wishing she was a little less sober for this conversation. 

Alex gave her a strange look. “What do you mean? Kara’s your best friend.” 

_Ahh,_ Lena thought, Alex didn’t know that Lena knew about Kara’s secret identity. Lena wondered how often the two sisters would whisper behind her back, talking about how foolish Lena was for trusting Kara so easily. It made her feel so stupid.

“A Super and a Luthor being friends? We all know how those stories end.” Lena clarified. She decided then that she was done with this conversation. She’d be humiliated enough and didn’t need Alex acting like she had no idea about any of this. “Now if you don’t mind, I have work to do.”

Alex’s eyes went almost comically wide as she connected the dots. “She told you?” 

“That she’s Supergirl? Come on, Alex. Don’t act so shocked.” Lena sneered. Clearly their plan to keep an eye on Lena had been ruined by Kara’s confession. “Next time you want to keep an eye on me, send someone who doesn’t fuck up and tell me.”

Alex drew her eyebrows together, shaking her head as though she was trying to process everything that Lena had said. “What are you talking about? Kara was never spying on you.” She explained.

“Then why didn’t she tell me all those years ago?” Lena questioned while tilting her head and clenching her jaw. Did Alex really think Lena was naive enough to believe her?

Alex sighed and ran her hand through her short hair. “Look Lena, that’s for Kara to explain. I understand how it looks, but I promise you she never meant to hurt you.”

For a moment, Alex seemed so sincere that Lena almost cracked. Part of her was desperate that none of this was true, that Kara had actual reasons for keeping her secret and Alex made it difficult to think otherwise. But then Lena though back on all the other times people had deceived her for their own selfish reasons. 

“It’s too late for that.” Lena said with a hard swallow. 

Alex wore a pleading expression on her face, but Lena didn’t budge. She’d been hurt so many times in her life, but she thought maybe this time stung a bit more than the others. Alex must have sensed it too as she gave Lena one last desperate look before standing up and walking towards the door.

Just as Alex was reaching for the handle, she paused and glanced back over at Lena. “You know, she’s always stuck up for you.” Lena’s head snapped towards Alex, momentarily forgetting that she was still there. “For so long everyone, including me, were sceptical of you. We all looked at you like you were nothing but your name. But Kara never did that. She always fought for you and convinced us all that you were more than a typical Luthor. Kara was always on your side.” She said before adding, “Just thought you should know that before completely writing her out of your life.”

With that, Alex opened the door and left.

All Lena could do was blink, unable to move her eyes from where Alex had been standing. Everything that the agent had said had to be a lie, hadn’t it? Lena wouldn’t even let the idea that Kara actually _did_ trust her cross her mind and all of the lies were because of something other than Kara making sure she wouldn’t turn into Lex.

Then again, Kara could have easily exposed Lena ages ago for the alien detection device - which was admittedly a major fuck up - and painted her out to be the villain who hated aliens, exactly like her brother. 

_Why hadn’t she?_

Maybe Kara was waiting for the right time, or trying to find something bigger. Or maybe she actually did care about Lena and kept her secret for reasons other than betrayal? Either way, it was clear that Kara didn’t want Lena - or anyone as it appeared - in her life anymore. And if that’s what she wanted, the far be it from Lena to deny her wishes.

Lena took a deep breath and pushed all thoughts of Kara from her mind as she downed the last of her forgotten drink in a single gulp. 

* * *

The thing is, as much as Lena had tried to push every and all thoughts of Kara from her head, they just kept coming back.

The rest of the day in her office was spent clenching her jaw and feeling wave after wave of betrayal caused by Kara’s lies. The next day, Lena convinced herself that she hated Kara. She decided that she would simply stop caring and just move on with her life. That was quickly proven wrong as the news came on and she watched Supergirl getting knocked down multiple times before eventually getting up and stopping the rogue alien. All Lena could think about was that the person under the cape that was getting hurt was the same girl who use to buy her coffee and fiddle with her glasses too much and get overly excited at anything involving food or puppies. 

The day after that, Lena couldn’t stop thinking about what Alex had said. That Kara was the one that stuck up for her and was always on her side. It made sense, in a way. Anytime Lena had worked with Kara as Supergirl, they made a good team. She thought, perhaps there was some truth to what Alex had said. But it didn’t take away from the fact that Kara had lied to her for so long.

That’s what Lena thought about for the rest of the week. _Why didn’t Kara just tell her?_

Obviously, there was the risk of Lena exposing her real identity to the world, but they had been friends for long enough that surely Kara knew just how much Lena cared about her. Even when Lena was at her angriest, she never once considered outing Kara. That one thought nagged at Lena for her entire day off. She came up with explanations and theories, but none of them made sense and it was driving Lena crazy not knowing. It was as if Lena couldn’t let go because she didn’t have the answer she needed to move on; _why?_

That question is how Lena somehow found herself once again outside Kara’s apartment door, her heart pounding and her mind going a hundred miles a minute. 

She had to do this. This was the only way Lena could get closure. If she could just get the answer to her question, Lena could move on and it would stop hurting so fucking much. 

Before Lena could even lift her hand to knock, the door swung open, revealing Kara who looked as what Lena could only describe as _soft._ She was wearing sweatpants and what looked to be a well worn hoodie as well as a blanket draped around her shoulders. Her hair was down and her glasses were nowhere to be seen. Lena realised that she’d never seen Kara like that and it pulled on something in her chest. 

“I could hear your heartbeat.” Kara said, answering the unspoken question of how did she know Lena was there before she knocked.

But, that only brought up a new question; _you know what my heartbeat sounds like?_

Lena swallowed, trying to calm her racing heart. She should have realised before that Kara could hear everything and now knew just how nervous Lena was. Straightening her back, Lena tried to stand tall as though that would make up for it. “We need to talk.”

Kara sighed and looked down before leaning against the half open door. “Lena…” She started. Kara sounded sad. Lena could tell that much. All the pain that she had felt before came rushing back, but this time it was because - as much as Lena tried to convince herself it wasn’t - seeing Kara like this broke her heart. 

Instead of waiting for the inevitable decline to talk from Kara, Lena pushed her way past and made her way into the apartment, hearing another sigh from Kara as she closed the door. Kara’s apartment was messier than usual, with clothes and books and a few empty takeout containers laying around. Lena itched with the need to clean some of it up and help Kara out of what was clearly a slump.

Lena turned to Kara and crossed her arms with a cold look on her face despite the one hundred emotions she was feeling. For the first time since meeting her, Kara looked small. It almost made Lena want to back down or comfort her broken friend with a hug. But, Lena needed this.

The CEO took a breath, trying to gather her thoughts for a moment and figure out how to start. “Why didn’t you tell me, Kara?” Was all that came out with a broken voice.

Kara shifted her weight from one foot to another, refusing to look at Lena. For some reason, it only made Lena more frustrated. And as Kara continued to stay silent, her frustration only grew. 

“Were you using me?” Lena continues. Yet again, Kara doesn’t answer. She glanced at Lena, but only for a moment and Lena could see her eyes shining with tears. “Were you, Kara? Did you think you could play with my emotions and get me to trust you until what? Until I show you how I plan to take over National City? I’m not Lex, Kara. All I’ve ever wanted was to separate my name from him and make a difference.” Lena’s voice was shaky and her throat burnt as tears built up in the corners of her eyes. “And the one person who I thought trusted me was actually just using me.” 

“I do.” Kara finally said in a small voice. “I do trust you. This was never about you being a Luthor and me being a Super.”

Kara shifted again, this time reaching up to wipe her cheek after a tear fell. 

“I get it, you know.” Kara continued, her eyes going up to meet Lena’s. “The whole wanting to separate yourself from someone in your family. Kal- Superman, is so perfect. He’s never messed up and he always saves the day and me? I’m a mess. I can’t do it, every time I try to fix something, it doesn’t work.” Kara let out a spiteful laugh. “When I met you, I saw _you._ Lena Luthor, not Lex. I saw how different you were from him and it made me… I just, I guess I related to you more than I realised. When I’m around you, there is no Supergirl, it’s just Kara and you made me feel like Kara Danvers was special without Supergirl.” A sad smile played on Kara’s face as she looked away from Lena. “Then I realised that I’m nothing without Supergirl. But right now, I feel like I can’t be either without hurting someone.”

It wasn’t until Kara was finished talking that Lena noticed they're both crying. “Kara…” Lena started, but the blonde interrupted before she could say anything else.

“I didn’t tell you, not because I didn’t trust you, but because I didn’t trust myself not to ruin everything.” Another sad laugh fell from Kara’s mouth. “I guess it’s too late for that though.” 

“Yeah…” Lena muttered, agreeing with Kara because, yes, it was too late for no one to get hurt. They both knew it. Kara hurt Lena in a way that Lena had never felt, it was like her whole world stopped the moment Kara said those few words. And in some way, Lena knew deep down Kara didn’t intend for it to happen. Maybe jumping to the conclusion that Kara was using her was a way to cope with the pain, but Lena shouldn’t have done it, even if it was justifiable. 

“I’m sorry.” Lena said. Kara’s eyes jumped to hers like she was shocked Lena was the one apologising. “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions. I know you never wanted to hurt me.” Lena swallowed hard. “But I need time.”

“I don’t think you should be around me.” Kara said it so fast that Lena had to take a second to process it. 

“What?” Lena didn’t know how to respond to that. Even after everything, she knew she still wanted Kara in her life, she just needed time. But, it seemed Kara didn’t want her at all.

Kara sniffed as she looked away. “All I do is hurt people, Lena. I don’t wanna hurt you anymore.”

“Not having you in my life would hurt me more.” Lena explained, desperate for Kara to see that she was making a mistake. 

Kara didn’t reply. Instead, she just wiped her tears off her cheeks and refused to look at Lena.

“I want you in my life, Kara.” It came out in a choked sob and Lena couldn’t stop the tears from dripping down her cheeks. 

Kara had a hard look on her face. “I don’t deserve you.” She said it with such anger, but Lena could tell it was directed at only herself. 

“Kara, please.” She tried again, but it was no use. Kara had made up her mind. “Okay.” Lena said, giving up. Kara didn’t want her there.

Lena glanced around the room one more time, wondering if it would be the last before grabbing her bag and walking to the door. Kara stood in the same spot, her eyes not leaving the floor. Lena took one last glimpse at Kara, silently begging her to just _look_ at her. But that moment never came and Lena eventually reached for the door, leaving Kara and feeling nothing but complete heartbreak. 

* * *

A week went past in a haze for Kara. 

She hadn’t heard a single word from Lena. Even when she handed in her letter of resignation, Lena sent someone else down to deal with it. She was respecting Kara’s need for distance and Kara hated it. All she wanted was to talk to Lena, to get lunch in Noonan’s and talk about nothing in particular. She wanted to force Lena to watch some awful reality tv show with her and judge the people on it. Kara just wanted things to be how they were a few weeks ago.

But, this was her decision. She had to live with it, no matter how hard it was.

This was how things had to be. Even if Lena hated her, at least she wouldn’t have another target on her back from simply knowing Kara. 

And yet, Lena was the only thing on Kara’s mind. She had come to the realisation that life without Lena was miserable. Everything felt dull now. It was as though having Lena in her life indirectly affected everything and Kara was only noticing it now. Flying felt different, music didn’t sound the same, even potstickers didn’t taste as good. 

Another thing that Kara had come to realise was that she quite possibly down played the small crush she had on Lena. It hit her when she saw that distancing herself from everyone else just felt different. With Lena, it felt more like a breakup. And a painful one at that. 

Kara didn’t know exactly what to do with that new found information, not that there was anything she could do. So, she did the same thing as before and buried it away with the hopes that it would fade out on its own. 

It wasn’t until a few days later that something changed.

Kara had been called out as Supergirl and, in an attempt to avoid Alex, she skipped the briefing at the DEO and headed straight into a fight. As it turned out, it was a trap. The instant she landed, it felt like all of her bones had been drilled into, with pain shooting all throughout her body. The only thing Kara could do was lay still and hope that if she was going to die, it would at least be quick.

She didn’t die, though it was hard to tell for sure as when she opened her eyes, she was met with a bright light. Kara woke in the medbay of the DEO, with a splitting headache and worried eyes pointed in her direction. 

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Alex said as Kara tried to sit up on the sunbed. Her vision was fuzzy as she got her bearings. “Kryptonite.” Alex stated, answering Kara’s silent question as to what happened. 

Kara tried to stand on her wobbling legs, but Alex put her hand on her back to steady her. “Take your time, Kara.” She said softly.

Kara shook her head, everything finally catching up on her. “I’m fine, Alex.”

“No you’re not.” Alex replied in a stern voice. It was the same voice Kara had heard so many times throughout her life, usually after doing something reckless. It sounded just like Eliza’s. “You need to rest.”

That feeling of weakness crawled its way back up Kara’s throat. _Roa,_ she thought, _I can’t even save myself._

“I can rest at home.” Kara said, knowing Alex would pick up the implication _‘I want to be alone’._

Alex tried to stop Kara from leaving, but she was determined that she had to get out of there before the room swallowed her whole. Kara couldn’t deal with being around her sister, or anyone for that matter, not when she felt so helpless. Kara walked home, despite Alex’s attempts of getting her to stay, and let the natural sunlight filter through her body. 

It was at that point when Kara considered for the first time that she’d made a mistake, that her decision to push everyone away was only making things worse. 

But, what was done was done. Kara couldn’t change it now.

Or at least that was what she thought. 

When she arrived at her apartment, much to her surprise, Lena was standing outside her door with her hand half raised like she was about to knock.

Seeing Lena for the first time in a week hit Kara like a train and all the emotions she’d been feeling rushed to the surface. “Lena?” She said, getting the CEO’s attention.

Lena turned at the sound of her name being called, her expression changing in a split second from worried to relieved when her eyes landed on Kara’s. “Kara, thank god.” She rushed over to where Kara was standing, her arms going up to snake around Kara’s neck and pulling her in for a hug.

Kara was caught off guard. The shock of seeing Lena as well as the feeling of her body pressed against her own resulted in Kara not reacting for a moment. Lena must have felt it as she quickly pulled away, but Kara finally caught up, wrapping her arms around Lena’s middle and pulling her back in. Kara screwed her eyes shut, trying not to cry. She thought she completely ruined everything with Lena, it’s basically what she had intended to do, but seeing her standing at her door was a shock to her system and Kara realised that she didn’t want to live without Lena in her life.

“I saw the news.” Lena’s voice was muffled by Kara’s shirt. “You scared the shit out of me.”

It somehow made Kara laugh. 

Lena was still there. Even after everything Kara had put her through. 

“Will you stay with me?” Kara asked in a sad voice and on the verge of tears. 

“Yes, you idiot.” Lena replied as she pulled back.

That was the pivotal moment for Kara. After she let Lena into her apartment, she told her everything - almost everything - and Lena just listened as Kara explained all the fears she had about hurting everyone around her, all the doubts she had in her ability to save everyone, the fact that she thought the world would be a safer place if Kara Danvers just disappeared. 

“You know,” Lena said while clearing her throat and wiping away her tears, “Kara Danvers is my favourite person.”

“Even now?” Kara asked, her voice breaking. Lena just nodded in response. “Why? All I do is hurt people, you included.” 

Lena paused before moving closer to Kara, her fingers toying together like she was trying to stop herself from reaching out. “Sometimes we hurt the people we care about out of fear of losing them.” Lena explained. “And sometimes, we blame ourselves when other people get hurt because we think we deserve it.”

“What if I do deserve it?” Kara argued.

“You’re the best person I know.” Lena replied. “I’ve tried to spend the last week hating you, but it’s impossible. You’re good and kind and you don’t deserve to hate yourself for the things you can’t control.”

Kara’s throat bobbed at Lena’s words and she tilted her head back slightly as though she was trying to stop another wave of tears. 

“What am I supposed to do now?” Kara asked. She looked so broken and it made Lena reach up and place her hand on Kara’s cheek, stroking it softly as Kara leaned into it.

“Now we pick up the pieces, together.” 

“Together?” Kara asked.

“Together.” 

* * *

The week after their conversation, Lena began noticing small changes in her and Kara’s friendship. 

It started simple. That day, as Lena decided it was time to leave, Kara embraced her in another hug. Much like the one they shared earlier, it lasted entirely too long. Not that Lena was complaining. She usually wasn’t a touchy person, the thought of other people being too close to her made her skin crawl. But there was something about Kara that felt _warm_ and, though Lena would never admit it, she wouldn’t mind receiving more hugs from Kara. 

That became a norm for them. Every time they would see each other after that, they would hug to say hello and goodbye, the difference now being how long it lasted. 

Another thing that was different was how frequently they saw each other. Before, they would share lunch or dinner once a week, twice if they were lucky. But now, Lena visited every night, sometimes bringing takeout or groceries to cook with - Kara herself was an awful cook and would probably poison Lena if she tried. Kara would zip in and out as Supergirl and Lena found herself becoming more and more use to Kara in the supersuit. It definitely wasn’t a bad sight in her eyes. 

Kara was still hesitant to talk to everyone else. She’d told Lena that part of her was embarrassed for making such a big deal out of everything and she just needed time to get back to her usual - or hopefully improved - self before throwing herself back into work. Lena reassured Kara that she didn’t make a big deal out of it and that her response was normal, all things considered. 

Regardless, Kara explained that she needed time and was content to spend time with Lena as she licked her wounds. Lena still made sure that Kara sent Alex a few texts every now and then to put her sister's mind at ease. 

There were a number of other things that had changed between them as well. Well, changed for Lena, at least. She noticed it for the first time while she was in the middle of preparing dinner one night.

“You know you’re gonna have to try broccoli at some point in life.” Lena said as she was chopping the vegetable on a cutting board. 

“You underestimate how stubborn I am when it comes to food, Lena.” Kara replied from her bedroom. Lena just laughed in response, trying to figure out a way to hide said vegetable and trick Kara into eating it. 

Earlier that day, Kara had admitted that she’d never eaten broccoli. It was something to do with the smell of it that put her off. She explained that it smelt like something very specific that grew on Krypton, and even though Kara couldn’t remember exactly what it was, she knew it wasn’t good. Hence, never even attempting to try it. 

“You better not try to hide it in there.” Kara shouted from the room, somehow knowing exactly what Lena was thinking. “I can smell it from miles away.” Lena just rolled her eyes with a smile on her face as Kara’s voice got closer and went back to chopping her own portion of broccoli. 

When she looked up again, Lena almost cut her finger out of distraction. Kara was now standing in the living room, wearing nothing but a sports bra and shorts. 

_Who the fuck has abs like that?_

Was the first thought that raced through Lena’s mind before she remembered that Kara was literally an alien _and_ a superhero. So it shouldn’t really have been surprising that she looked like… _that._

Lena cleared her throat and looked down at the task she was doing before. “What are you doing?” She asked, her voice steady despite her hands feeling suddenly shaky at the view in front of her.

“I got called out in the middle of my workout earlier.” _Of course she’s about to fucking work out in front of Lena._ “Thought I’d finish it before having dinner.”

Kara sat down on a mat and began stretching her arms and legs as Lena focused very hard on not cutting her finger off. When she looked up again, Kara was in the process of doing sit ups with her hands behind her head and short puffs of breath coming from her lips. 

Lena always found Kara attractive. Ever since the first day they met, Lena had seen it. But, it was attractive in the sense that Kara was beautiful and sweet and kind with a bubbly personality. And, while Lena may have imagined once or twice what it would be like to be with Kara _like that,_ it was always in a way that was innocent.

But now, with Kara half naked and having a body that looked like it was sculpted from some Kryptonian god, Lena found it all too easy to imagine Kara in a way that was most definitely _not_ innocent. 

Lena wondered then just how strong Kara really was.

“Does working out like that even do anything to you?” Lena asked, trying to rid her head of any and all thoughts of Kara panting like that in a _different_ situation.

“Not really.” Kara answered. “It’s just to make me feel productive.” 

Kara then flipped over to her front and began doing push ups and Lena prayed for the first time in years that Kara wouldn’t listen to her hammering heart and ask questions.

It only got worse after that. Lena - prior secret identity reveal - would never have guessed that sweet little Kara Danvers was hiding arms like _that_ under her cardigans. It made preparing dinner a longer and more torturous process as Lena couldn’t stop stealing glances at her friend. 

Lena knew it wasn’t an altogether new development in their friendship. Her attraction to Kara had always been there, but it seemed as though spending more and more time with Kara was making it harder to ignore.

Nevertheless, Lena forced herself to stop thinking about it as she finished cooking and Kara eventually got up after her short workout and thankfully put on some actual clothes. Not that Lena didn’t enjoy the view, she just felt like it was some kind of violation of privacy to blatantly ogle a half naked Kara. 

A while later, after Lena once again tried and failed to convince Kara to eat broccoli, they were sitting on the couch and mindlessly chatting about whatever as some show played in the background. 

“So how are you feeling about everything today?” Lena asked.

That was another new aspect to their friendship; they talked more. Beforehand, they obviously talked, but now it was different. Lena realised just how much Kara was holding back about her life, and it was as though Lena had to erase everything she knew about the girl beside her and start again. In a way, Lena actually liked it. Hearing about Kara’s life - her actual life - made it easier to understand why Kara was the way she was. Every new revelation was followed by a wave of admiration and Lena found herself wanting to know more and more about Kara and growing up on Krypton. 

“Better.” Kara answered simply. “I mean, I still kinda think I shouldn’t be around people.”

“Kara…”

“You’re helping though.” Kara interrupted before Lena could say anything else. “Being around you makes me feel good.”

Lena’s chest tightens at that. Lately, Kara has been saying things that just make Lena feel like she’s sinking into herself, but in the best way possible. “You know you’re in desperate need of therapy, right?” Lena said, trying to stop herself from falling too deep into that feeling. 

Kara let out a laugh and rolled her eyes. “Says the girl with a lifetime of family trauma and numerous assassination attempts.”

“You think you’re so funny.” Lena replied, narrowing her eyes at the blonde. 

“I do, actually.” Kara smirked. 

There was something about Kara being confident that made Lena’s stomach drop. That, mixed with the lingering image of Kara mid workout, made the CEO’s mind hazy. “You’re not as funny as you think.”

“Oh really?” Kara said, turning on the couch to face Lena with a devious smile on her face. “Do you have eleven protons? Because you are sodium _fine.”_

It took a moment for her to register what Kara said, but once she did, a burst of laughter erupted for Lena, making her tilt her head back and clutch her stomach at how _awful_ the joke was.

“Did you just use a science pick up line on me?” Lena asked, wiping a stray tear from the corner of her eye.

Kara raised her eyebrows. “Did it work?” 

“Absolutely not.” Lena lied. She found it completely charming, not that Lena would ever admit that. “I think you need to work on your game, darling.”

“Hey, my game is fine.” Kara scoffed, the smirk still lingering on her face. “You’re still here, after all.” Lena’s eyes caught Kara’s as she said that and a thought popped into her head.

_Was Kara flirting with her?_

Lena shook her head of the thought. That couldn’t be happening, it was simply playful banter. Nothing more. And yet, Lena couldn’t help but hope that maybe Kara was flirting with her and that it wasn’t all in her head. 

“It’s getting late and I have an early meeting in the morning.” Lena said. She wasn’t running, she just needed to process her thoughts, preferably on her own and without Kara sitting in front of her with her stupid smirk like she knew exactly what it was doing to Lena. “I should probably head off soon.”

“Okay.” Kara sighed, lifting her arms above her head in a stretch and revealing a sliver of stomach. 

Lena _definitely_ needed to get out of there before she said something stupid. 

Kara stood up and pointed a thumb over her shoulder. “I’ll grab your stuff from my room.” She said, referring to Lena’s work clothes that she changed out of when she arrived. Lena had planned to go home after work and get dressed in something more comfortable, but Kara offered to let her borrow her own clothes instead. And well, Lena couldn’t resist the thought of Kara’s warm hoodies.

As Kara left, Lena grabbed their empty plates from earlier and brought them into the kitchen, placing them in the sink. Her mind was still on their conversation from before, particularly the fact that Kara still thought she shouldn’t be around people. In a way, it baffled Lena. She understood Kara’s reasons, now more than ever, but Lena wished Kara could see how good she was and how much of a positive impact she had on others. Not just as Supergirl. 

With an idea in her head, Lena looked around, her eyes landing on a block of sticky notes. She grabbed a pen and scribbled something down, pulling off the note and sticking it to the fridge. A second later, Kara walked in holding a neatly folded pile of clothes.

“You got everything?” She asked, not noticing the new addition to her fridge.

“I think so.” Lena replied, taking the clothes for Kara and putting them in her bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

Kara nodded her head. “Yeah, I’ll cook.” Lena’s eyes widened at the prospect of Kara cooking. “Don’t look so scared, I’ve been watching loads of cooking shows.” 

Lena hummed in response. “I’ll make sure to tell Jess who to look into if I don’t show up at work the next day then.”

“Very funny.” Kara laughed, pulling Lena in for a goodbye hug. Like usual, it lasted a few moments too long and Lena closed her eyes, quietly hoping that Kara would eventually see all the good that Lena saw in her. 

Later that night, as Kara was tidying up a few things in the kitchen, her eyes caught onto the note on the fridge. 

_Kara Danvers is the only person who can make me laugh at the stupidest jokes._

It was then that Kara realised she felt happy by herself for the first time in ages. 

* * *

The next night, as promised, Kara did end up cooking. She spent hours trying to find a recipe that was easy to follow and it was surprisingly going well. 

That was until Lena showed up at her door, looking freshly showered and still wearing the hoodie that Kara had lent her the night before. Kara couldn’t help but feel warm at the sight of Lena in her clothes. 

Kara ushered Lena in, listening to her talk about her day at L-Corp.

Things were so different between them now, Kara thought. It was like once Lena knew about Supergirl, a weight was lifted off Kara's shoulders, one that she’d never noticed was so heavy. Kara could _finally_ tell Lena about her life - her real life - not just bits and pieces patched together with halfhearted lies about where she grew up and what her family was like. 

All the doubts that Kara had about Lena hating her were suddenly gone. If anything, Lena seemed to like hearing about that part of her life and Kara _wanted_ to tell her. She wanted Lena to know everything about her. No more secrets. 

_Well._

Maybe the crush that Kara was harbouring was still a secret. But, in all fairness, it was about two conversations away from becoming a lot more than a crush, and Kara was still learning how to contain it. She wasn’t prepared to ruin yet another thing.

“I’m just saying, I have a fortune 500 company, I would definitely beat you at monopo-” Lena paused in the middle of their conversation about who would beat who at certain board games. “Is something burning?” She asked, her eyebrows drawn together and glancing towards the kitchen. 

“Oh no.” Kara said, standing up and rushing to the oven.

For someone who had senses that were hundreds if not thousands of times stronger than a humans, one would think that Kara would be able to tell when something was ready, even just by the smell of it. And yet, somehow Lena’s presence was distracting to the point of making Kara forget about everything else happening around her.

Kara opened the oven door and was met with a cloud of smoke. “Yeah, I think we have a problem here.” She said, pulling out the burnt dish with her bare hands and not even flinching at the heat. 

“Whatever happened to _‘I’ve been watching shows, Lena. I know how to cook._ ’ huh?” Lena said, mocking Kara’s voice from where she stood behind her.

“First of all, I don’t sound like that. Secondly,” Kara replied, pausing and holding up a finger, pointing it at Lena’s chest, “It’s your fault, Lena.” Kara put her hands on her hips and continued. “Maybe if you didn’t distract me, we could be having an amazing meal right now.”

Lena rolled her eyes at Kara’s theatrics. “Oh so I’m to blame?”

“Absolutely.” Kara answered, nodding her head in faux seriousness. 

“Come on, drama queen. I’ll order us takeout.” Lena said, taking her phone from her pocket.

Kara looked down at the burnt food and pouted. She really did want to make Lena a nice meal to show how much she appreciated Lena being there for her. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Kara asked as Lena was typing on her phone. At least Kara knew she couldn’t mess that up.

“Sure, do you have tea?” Lena replied.

Kara opened a few of her cupboards, searching for the box of tea that Alex had brought over once after accidentally buying it and deciding that she hated it. Kara had completely forgotten about it until then. “Will this do?” She asked, holding up the box. 

Lena glanced at the box of simple English breakfast tea and nodded her head. By the time she had finished ordering their food, Kara had made the tea and handed it over to Lena who began blowing on it until it cooled down. 

That night, after Lena had left, Kara found yet another note on her fridge.

_Kara Danvers can’t cook, but she makes the best tea ever._

A small smile made its way onto Kara’s face as she touched the note, wondering how Lena managed to write it and stick it up without her noticing.

* * *

The next few days pass in a similar way; Lena bringing some form of food to Kara’s apartment, each of them spending hours talking about everything and anything, Lena leaving a note on Kara’s fridge every night and Kara reading each one a hundred times over. 

It soon became a familiar system and every time without fail, Lena chickened out of writing what she _actually_ wanted to write on the notes. 

_I can’t stop thinking about you._

_I think I have feelings for you._

“Lena!” Kara, like usual, opened the door before Lena even got the chance to knock. “You’re here earlier than usual.”

Lena blinked a couple of times, the thought of what she might write on the notes causing her heart to double in speed. God, not only did she recently develop feelings for Kara, but said feelings were relentless, coming in full force and Lena was sure she’d never felt something so strongly before. 

“Sorry, I should have texted.” Lena said. “Work was a lot today, I just needed an early finish.”

Kara opened the door wider, allowing Lena to come in and take her jacket off. “Everything okay?” Kara asked.

Lena nodded, taking a breath in an attempt to make it not so obvious that she had a lot on her mind. “Yeah, just stressed, you know how it is.”

Kara just offered her a small smile and then opened her arms. Lena immediately fell into the blonde, her arms snaking around her shoulders and her head resting in the crook of Kara’s neck. Lena thought that maybe that was the catalyst. Being close to her, spending time with her, getting to know the _real_ Kara Danvers. All of it just piled on top of each other somehow led to this; Lena feeling an overwhelming amount of feelings for her best friend. 

It's just… Kara always smelt like vanilla, even after doing jobs as Supergirl that were messy. She always made Lena laugh, even when she herself had a hard day. Kara was the epitome of sunshine and Lena thought maybe there was a small chance she’s always been a little bit in love with Kara Danvers. 

“Can I do anything to help?” Kara asked, her voice muffled by Lena’s hair.

“You already are helping.” Lena replied and Kara squeezed her arms tighter, letting Lena know she was simply _there._

The hours pass and Lena could feel herself falling deeper by the second. It should have been scary, but being around Kara made everything feel so easy, even falling in love. And, even though Lena knew she would probably go home that night and have a small breakdown, while she was with Kara, Lena felt as calm as ever.

“You know,” Kara said, clearing her throat and cutting the comfortable silence as they watched TV, “It’s coming up to the anniversary of when I first landed on Earth.”

Lena just looked at Kara, not knowing exactly what to say. It became clear quite early on that Kara didn’t talk a lot about what happened towards the end of Krypton and the beginning of Earth. She had told Lena stories, sure, but most of them were happy memories, and Lena was guessing that that particular one wasn’t as happy. 

“Almost thirteen years.” Kara went on. “I watched it explode.”

“Kara…” Lena said, her throat tightening. “You don’t have to talk about it.”

“I think I do.” Kara replied. Her voice was small and shaky, but she took a breath and continued anyway. “I watched my home explode and then I was stuck in a pod for… _years._ When I got here, I was so angry. I was angry at Kal for leaving me, I was angry at my parents for making me go, I was angry at the Danvers for acting like they were my family.” Kara took another breath. “It took me so long, but eventually I realised I could have more than one home. Things got easier then.” Kara smiled and it made Lena wonder if she was thinking of a certain memory. “I think, recently I’ve felt so disconnected from that feeling. Maybe that's why I lashed out. But, I can feel it getting easier again.”

Lena was almost crying by that point. She’d heard rumours in the past, whispers from Lex about Krypton and it’s end. And now, hearing it from Kara, hearing about just how much she’s lost, Lena wondered how could someone be so kind after losing so much. 

“I think I get it.” Lena replied, catching Kara’s eye. “That feeling of being disconnected from home. Although, I’m not sure how, considering I’ve never felt connected in the first place. I know it probably pales in comparison, but I never felt like I had a home with the Luthors. I can’t remember my birth mother and I was practically raised in boarding schools.” 

Kara reached out and grabbed Lena’s hand, giving it a small squeeze for comfort.

“I think a big part of me is just waiting for that feeling.” Lena added. 

“I hope you find it soon.” Kara said with such sincerity that it brought on another wave of tears to Lena’s eyes. 

“Yeah, me too.” Lena replied, but with the way her heart was pounding, she thought perhaps she’d already found it. 

Something about the rush of overwhelming emotions made both girls feel exhausted and, soon enough, Lena glanced over at a sleeping Kara, her legs slung over Lena’s and her mouth slightly parted with slow puffs of breaths coming out. 

Lena carefully lifted Kara’s legs of her own, trying her best to not wake her friend. Kara, as it seemed, was out cold and didn’t notice. Lena grabbed the blanket that was folded beside the couch and draped it over Kara’s body before making her way to the kitchen. 

The sticky notes and pen were in their usual place and Lena debated what to write this time. Her mind drifted back to everything she’d wanted to say before, but her hand physically stopped her from writing those three words that she so desperately wanted to write. She looked back over at Kara, smiling at the soft snores that she could hear and made up her mind. 

After placing it on the fridge, Lena gathered her things and quietly left.

* * *

When Kara woke up, everything seemed slightly disoriented. The last thing she remembered was Lena’s thumb rubbing soft circles just below her knee and as she sat up, Kara realised she must have dozed off for longer than expected. 

Grabbing her phone to check the time, Kara noticed a message from Lena that was sent two hours ago.

_See you tomorrow, sleep well :)_

Kara wished that Lena hadn’t left. She wished that Lena had woken her up, asked if it was okay to stay the night. It wasn’t even in a sexual way, Kara just wanted to be around Lena all the time and she had a feeling that sleeping close to Lena would probably result in the best night sleep ever. 

Rather than dwelling on it, Kara got up and folded the blanket that Lena must have covered it with. Their conversation from earlier was playing on Kara’s mind, but it somehow felt light, as though talking about it made everything feel not as harsh as before. Roa, Kara thought, maybe she really _did_ need therapy.

Just as Kara began tidying up the small mess they had made, she suddenly remembered Lena’s sticky notes. It was probably her favourite thing, reading the notes. Each of them made Kara feel a little better everyday, even the simple ones. Rushing over to the fridge, Kara see’s the note with Lena’s perfectly cursive handwriting. What she reads though, isn’t as simple as the previous ones.

_Kara Danvers makes me feel like I’m home._

It’s the note that breaks Kara. 

She couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in her eyes if she tried and Kara sunk to the floor, clutching her knees to her chest and finally realising how _wrong_ she had been about everything. 

Well, almost everything. 

Kara knew two things for definite. The first being that she completely fucked up. Lena was right, Kara blamed herself for other people getting hurt, even though it was out of her control. She thought she deserved it for messing up so many people’s lives, although that was out of her control as well. Kara pushed almost everyone away out of shame and embarrassment and she realised now that it was a mistake. 

The second thing Kara knew for sure was that she was completely in love with Lena Luthor. 

The second revelation, in Kara’s opinion, was much scarier than the first and for that reason, she decided to push it to the back of her mind in favour of focusing on the first. 

It’s how she found herself, not ten seconds later, banging on an apartment door at 2am.

“Alex.” Kara said when the door opened, revealing her sister who had clearly been sleeping. “I’m sorry.”

Alex had a mixture of emotions on her face, the most apparent one being confusion. “Kara? What’s going on?” Alex replied, opening the door wider and letting Kara in.

Her sister’s movements were sluggish whereas Kara couldn’t stand still.

“I’m sorry, about everything.” Kara said, fidgeting with her hands.

Alex was probably the person Kara had hurt the most. She had to deal with the sudden addition of a new sister who was admittedly weird, not that Kara could help it. She did grow up on a different planet, after all. Alex had to go through losing her father because of Kara. She had to basically take care of Kara, make sure she was safe and all but devoted her life to looking out for her little sister. 

“I’m sorry for completely disrupting your life.” Kara continued before Alex could speak. “But I know now that it was all out of my control, so I’m sorry for pushing you away.”

Alex let out a puff of air. “Kara, you have nothing to be sorry for.” She said before opening her arms and pulling her sister in. “You just needed time and I respect that.”

Kara clutched Alex and screwed her eyes shut. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Alex replied, her voice soft and quiet in Kara's ear. “You never disrupted my life, you know.” She said as she pulled back. “You made it hard as hell, yeah, but I wouldn’t change anything about it.”

Kara let out a choked sob. “I still make it hard as hell.”

Alex laughed, tears settling in her own eyes. “Oh for sure. But that’s just what sisters do.”

Kara honestly didn’t understand how she got so lucky to find a family like this. They were always there for her no matter what, even when Kara didn’t want them to be, they always stuck by her. 

“Come on, I’ll make us some hot chocolate.” Alex said, knowing there was a lot to catch up on.

A while later, Kara had told Alex everything. She told her about all of the doubts she’d been having, the fears about ruining people’s lives, her confession to Lena about being Supergirl and how Lena had been helping her through everything. She may have left out the whole feelings aspect of it, Alex didn’t need to know that much just yet. Not when Kara herself was still trying to process it. 

“The last time I saw Lena, she was so angry with you.” Alex remarked.

Kara nodded her head. “Yeah, she was really hurt that I hid it from her for so long.” Kara commented. “But we’re past that now, she’s helped me so much.”

“You guys sound, um… close.” There was hesitance in Alex’s voice as she said it. 

Kara let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah…” She mumbled, bringing her hand up to scratch the back of her neck as a blush spread across her face.

“Kara…” 

Kara sighed and rubbed her face, realising that she wasn’t as good at hiding her feelings as she thought she was. “What am I gonna do, Alex?” Kara whined. “I- I really love her.”

Alex laughed and reached out to cover Kara’s hand with her own. “I know, dumbass. We all know.”

Kara looked up at her sister in shock. “How did you know?”

“Oh please.” Alex said as she rolled her eyes. “I know sexual tension when I see it and trust me, there’s _years_ worth between you and Lena. It was only a matter of time.”

Kara covered her face with her hands. “Can we skip the whole sex talk, please?” Kara muttered. She could really do without having to talk to her sister about Lena like _that._ “Besides, it’s not like that. Lena doesn’t see me that way.”

Alex burst out laughing at that. “Kara, are you serious?” She asked. “Lena most definitely looks at you like that, you’d have to be blind not to see it.” 

Kara didn’t believe her. The idea that Lena felt even the tiniest bit the same hadn’t crossed Kara’s mind just because it seemed entirely too far-fetched to be real. In all honesty, Kara was still shocked that Lena even made time for her. She had such a busy life and could be friends with probably the most elite people in National City, the fact that she was even _friends_ with Kara was a lot to think about. 

“She doesn’t.” Kara stated with certainty. 

“Do you trust me, Kara?” Alex asked, waiting until Kara nodded her head. “Then trust me on this. Lena likes you.”

Alex thankfully dropped it after that and they eventually decided that sleep was a necessity. Alex let Kara stay over in the guest room and, even though Kara was beyond exhausted, she lay awake for hours, the thought of Lena reciprocating her feelings preventing her from falling asleep. 

* * *

The next day, Lena debated sending Kara a text to say she was too busy to go over that night. 

It wasn’t like- Lena wasn’t _running_ from her feelings, not really. Her thoughts were just too loud and she convinced herself that her last sticky note was a bit more vulnerable than she had intended. 

She was scared that she would let her feelings for Kara ruin their friendship and that was the last thing she wanted. All Lena needed to do was put _whatever_ she was feeling into a small box and file it away. Or a big box. 

But try as she might, Lena just couldn’t stay away. She had gotten too use to their routine to the point where Jess had asked her why she’d started leaving work at a normal time. Prior to everything, Lena would work late into the night, knowing it was better than going home to cook dinner for one and feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness. Sometimes, when the feeling got too much, she would sleep in her office.

That had completely changed now. Even though Lena would eventually end up alone in her apartment at the end of the night, those few hours spent with Kara beforehand made it worth it. Lena didn’t feel lonely anymore. She almost wanted to scold herself for once again getting attached to Kara, but everything about it felt different now. Lena trusted Kara not to leave her like before. 

But that would only happen if she kept her feelings in check. 

That being said, it was almost an impossible task, especially as Lena felt her heart just about burst at the sight of Kara singing dramatically off key into a hairbrush as Lena was in the middle of preparing dinner. 

“For someone who goes to karaoke so much, I’d expect you to know how to hold a note.” Lena teased as she watched Kara shoot her a grin over her shoulder. 

Kara set the hairbrush down and walked over to the opposite side of the bench Lena was working on. “Are you saying I’m bad at singing?” She replied, still with a stupid grin on her face that Lena found all too distracting.

“No.” Lena answered as she put her hands on the bench. “I just think it's an acquired taste.” 

Kara laughed in response and Lena couldn’t help but be captivated by it. “Oh come on, Lena. I know you like it.”

There it was again; confident Kara. It made Lena’s stomach do a somersault. “I wouldn’t be so sure.” She lied. 

Just as she said it, the song changed and Kara got a devious look in her eyes. 

“Kara, don’t even-”

“You’re just too good to be true.” Kara sang along, still purposefully off key. “Can’t take my eyes off you.” She pointed at Lena, wriggling her eyebrows and making Lena roll her eyes with a laugh. Kara rounded the bench to where she was standing and Lena felt her heart jump to her throat as Kara snaked her arms around her middle, hugging Lena from behind. “You’d be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much.”

_This is just friendly. Just friends being friends. It doesn’t mean anything._

Kara kept singing to Lena, her voice directly in the CEO’s ear and Lena didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. Everything about it was completely Kara, it was just her being silly, but Lena could feel her chest getting tighter and tighter as her feelings clawed their way up. 

“If you keep singing, I'm gonna have to poison your food.” Lena said. Being that close to Kara was making her head fuzzy and the distance between Lena pretending to see Kara as a friend and as something more was getting shorter.

Kara thankfully removed herself from Lena, taking a step back. “Don’t you like it when I serenade you?” Kara joked.

“If I said yes, I would be lying.” Lena resorted, knowing full well that she _did_ in fact like it. It felt like such a mundane and couply thing to do and all Lena wanted was for it to keep feeling like that. But, she knew better than to wish for something she couldn’t have.

Kara scoffed, plucking a carrot from the cutting board and plopping it in her mouth. “Well, get use to it.” _If only,_ Lena thought.

Half an hour later, an argument broke out. 

“Kara, it’s not going to kill you.”

“Yes it will.”

“I swear to god.” Lena held the fork closer to Kara. “Eat the fucking broccoil.”

Kara jumped back on the couch as though the green vegetable would _literally_ kill her. “No.” She crossed her arms, standing her ground. 

Lena leaned forward, holding the fork closer to Kara’s face who turned her nose up at it. “Eat it.”

Kara squinted her eyes, considering it for a second. “What do I get in return?”

“Health?” Lena answered like it was the most obvious thing ever and Kara just pushed her lips as though she was debating whether it was a good enough reason. “Fine.” Lena rolled her eyes. “What do you want?”

Kara looked directly at her. “I can think of a few things.”

_Oh._

That definitely seemed just a tad more than friendly. 

The look on Kara’s face changed in an instant from playful to serious, but just as she was about to open her mouth, her phone began ringing. “Sorry.” Kara apologised, reaching for her phone and taking it into her room before answering it. 

Lena figured that it was Supergirl related and she felt a rush of dejection at the thought of Kara being pulled away. But, some part of her was relieved. Between Kara’s lighthearted singing and the - or at least what Lena thought - blatant flirting, she needed a second to breath and collect her thoughts. 

“That was Nia.” Kara said as she came back from her room. “She wants me to help her with a story tomorrow. Unofficially.”

Lena could see the excitement behind Kara’s eyes at the prospect of being able to work on a story again. “You know, you could do it officially.” Lena suggested. “You can go back to Catco whenever you’re ready.”

Kara considered it for a second. “Are you sure, Lena?”

“Of course.” Lena replied. “Trust me, I know the boss, I’ll put in a good word.”

Kara rolled her eyes at Lena with a smile on her face. “Thank you.” She whispered, moving back to her place on the couch. “For everything. I don’t know how I would have gotten through this without you. I don’t think I could’ve.”

“You would.” Lena replied. “You just needed a push in the right direction.” Lena knew then that hiding her feelings wasn’t possible anymore. She was so in love with Kara to the point where it was almost painful and all she wanted was a way to stop it from ruining their friendship. 

But then Kara glanced down at her lips and Lena could have _sworn_ that she was about to lean in.

Kara didn’t get the chance though, not that Lena was entirely sure she was about to anyway. Instead, Lena took a step back and looked away before she could change her mind.

“Let’s watch a movie, shall we?” It came out forced and Kara had a look on her face that Lena couldn’t pinpoint.

The rest of the night got less difficult. Lena didn’t feel like she was about to confess everything on the spot and she somehow convinced Kara to watch the Titanic with her for the second time that week. They ended up only half watching it, talking between the less dramatic parts. Lena got utterly absorbed with the excited glint in Kara’s eyes as she talked about the story Nia asked her to help with and she had to repress a smile every so often when she rambled on about something. 

When Kara’s phone rang with Alex’s photo lighting it up, Lena waited until Kara was behind the partition separating her room from the rest of the apartment and took it as her opportunity to write a note. 

There was only one thing she wanted to write. Before, she physically _couldn’t_ write it, but now it was as though it was the only thing she could. 

Lena wrote it slowly. She looked at the small, yellow sticky note, her hands shaking and her heart feeling as though it was about to stop, but she didn’t put it on the fridge. 

She _couldn’t._

It felt like, if she put it up, she wouldn’t be able to take it down. And that could quite possibly ruin her entire world. 

“I was wondering when I’d catch you leaving one of these.”

Lena jumped at the sound of Kara’s voice behind her. The note was still in her hand and she felt like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to move or do anything. 

“Let me see it.” Kara reached out for the note before Lena even realised what was happening and, suddenly, it was gone.

Lena thought this was probably how she was going to die. Not from old age or an assassination carried out by one of Lex’s goons, but right there, all because of a fucking sticky note. 

“Kara…” Lena uttered, but it was too late, Kara had already read it.

_Kara Danvers, I’m in love with you._

Neither of them said anything for a moment, Lena was too caught up in the feeling of dread and Kara was still looking at the bit of paper. This was the end of their friendship, Lena could feel it. Everything that they went through together was for nothing, all because Lena couldn’t control her feelings. 

Finally, Kara looked up. “Lena-”

“It’s just a stupid note, Kara. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Is this how you actually feel?” Kara asked. It came out more like a plea than anything and Lena thought maybe Kara was desperate for it to be a lie.

“I…” Lena paused. There was no coming back from it now, Kara had read the note and they both knew it was the truth. Even if Lena lied, they could never come back from this. “Yes.”

Kara looked down at the note again, like reading it over and over would change what it said. 

All at once, Lena felt like the air was being sucked from the room. She needed to leave before she suffocated in the feeling. And that’s exactly what she did. Lena turned on her heel, ready to leave and possibly never see Kara again, but then there was a hand on her wrist, pulling her back and somehow, Lena found herself closer to Kara than she’d been before.

“I’ve been trying to say I love you all night.” Kara whispered. They were so close that Lena could see the specks of green dashed around Kara’s iris’s.

Kara’s admission took a second to hit Lena, but when it did, all Lena could think was _what?_

“I’ve been in love with you I think since that first day in your office.” Kara stated. She leaned forward slightly, resting her forehead on Lena’s.

Lena didn’t know what to say, there were too many things bubbling to the surface and she couldn’t pick just one. So instead, she pressed her lips into Kara’s and hoped it said everything she couldn’t.

Their kiss was short and soft and everything that each of them had ever wanted and when Lena pulled back, Kara chased her, pressing her lips firmer against Lena’s for a second time. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for the longest time.” Lena breathed against Kara’s lips. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realise. I think I needed to know all of you before falling in love.”

With their foreheads still together and their eyes still closed, Kara just laughed. “We finally got there.”

Lena laughed with her. “Yeah, we did.” She replied, pressing their lips together one more time. 

Later that night Lena found herself tangled with Kara on the couch. It seemed, once they started kissing, they couldn’t stop. And that somehow led them to here; Lena on Kara’s lap while her hands played with the baby hairs at the bottom of her head and Kara’s hands resting warmly on Lena’s back, under her shirt. 

It was innocent, both of them were relishing in the fact that they were not alone in their feelings and Lena wished she’d told Kara the moment she realised just so she could have experienced this sooner. 

Kara was, as Lena was learning, an exceptionally good kisser. So much so that Lena believed if Kara stopped kissing her, she might actually die. 

Lena sighed into Kara’s mouth when she felt her tongue licking her bottom lip and she instantly opened her mouth wider. It wasn’t until Kara pulled back completely and started trailing wet kisses along Lena’s jaw, eventually reaching her neck that Lena had to say something.

“If you keep doing that, we won’t be stopping anytime soon.” She said, her voice uneven as she tilted her head to the side so Kara could have more access.

“Who said I want to stop?” Kara replied before her tongue darted out to taste the skin there.

Lena’s hips almost buck down just at the sound of how rough Kara’s voice was, but she stopped herself and pulled away. “Kara, are you sure about this?” Lena asked, wanting to make sure Kara wasn’t doing anything in the heat of the moment. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Kara said before adding. “Well, other than the fact that I’m completely in love with you.”

Lena was pretty sure she’d never smiled so big in her life. She leaned back down, capturing Kara’s lips between her own and feeling Kara’s smile against her lips as well. 

Lena let out a groan when Kara’s hands moved to the back of her thighs, pulling her close before standing up. She wrapped her legs around Kara’s waist, sighing at the feeling of her centre rubbing against Kara’s hard stomach. 

It was a difficult task to get to Kara’s bedroom, despite it only being a few meters away, although Lena took the blame for that one as her lips were latched onto Kara’s neck, sucking small bruises that disappeared as quickly as they came.

After a few minutes of stopping and starting, Lena eventually felt Kara’s soft mattress beneath her. She shuffled her way up until her head was resting on one of the pillows, but when she glanced up, Kara was still standing at the foot of the bed. 

“I can’t believe this is actually happening.” Kara muttered, her eyes never leaving Lena’s. “You have no idea how much I’ve thought about it.”

If Kara had said the same thing earlier that night, Lena would have had a hard time believing it. But now, Lena could see it so clearly. Kara _wanted_ her. And Lena wasn’t so sure she had ever experienced something like it in her life. 

“You’ve thought about me in your bed?” Lena asked as she sat up on her elbows.

“Everyday.” Kara answered, completely unashamed. 

Lena felt a light blush spreading along her cheeks at the idea of Kara thinking about her like that. Not that she could say anything, Lena had done the same, especially since that day Kara had worked out in front of her. Lena _definitely_ imagined what it would be like to be under Kara or on top of her, or just in her general area really.

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” Lena grabbed the hem of her own shirt, pulling it up and over her head and throwing it at Kara whose mouth was hanging open at the sudden reveal. 

Kara wasted no time after that, crawling her way up Lena’s body and pulling her into her lips. It was different from before, the innocence had gone and was replaced by heat. Kara’s body was pressed almost entirely her, her leg slotting perfectly between Lena’s in a way that if Lena arched up just slightly, she could feel friction exactly where she needed it. 

Lena’s hands twisted in Kara’s shirt as she started leaving heated kisses down Lena’s neck, stopping every so often to lightly suck before soothing each on with her tongue. It gave Lena an idea involving ice breath, but she decided to file that away for later. Instead, Lena focused on Kara’s lips against her skin, slowly making their way down to her chest. Kara’s hands inched up from her waist until they reached the bottom of Lena’s plain black bra.

Lena, who had become rather impatient, didn’t wait for the inevitable question and reached around her own back, fiddling with the clasp of her bra. Kara didn’t even seem to notice until it unlatched and became loose. 

She watched as Kara sat up a bit, looking down at Lena’s still covered chest, and swallowed hard. Kara took each bra strap off Lena’s shoulders and finally threw the bra across the bed. 

Lena thought in the past she’d just imagined it. She thought all those times she had caught Kara staring at her chest when she wore certain dresses or blouses was all in her head. Yet, Kara was looking at her bare chest now like it was the most amazing thing she’d ever seen and Lena realised, maybe it wasn’t _all_ in her head. 

“Are you just going to look?” Lena teased after a second of Kara not doing anything. It seemed Kara couldn’t tear her eyes away and, although the attention made Lena squirm, the way that Kara was practically drooling was enough to make her feel confident. 

“Maybe.” Kara responded. Her thumbs were resting right below Lena’s breasts and Lena had to physically stop herself from reaching down and putting Kara’s hands where she wanted them.

“Maybe I should just do it myself then.” Lena said, taking one of her hands from its place on Kara’s back and bringing it to her own chest.

But, before she got the chance, Kara quickly grabbed her wrist and pinned it to the bed. “That doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

Lena never knew that Kara literally pinning her down would be the single hottest thing she’d ever seen in her life. 

“What’s not fair is you being so slow.” Lena huffed, her wrist wriggling beneath Kara’s hand. Kara held it in place though and at the simple display of strength, Lena could feel wetness pool in her underwear. 

“Be patient.” Kara replied with a smirk on her face like she knew exactly what she was doing. Kara lifted her other hand to Lena’s face, caressing her cheek before dragging her thumb along Lena’s bottom lip. “How are you so pretty?”

Lena’s breathing stuttered at the compliment. She didn’t even get a chance to say anything before Kara was moving down again, the hand that was on Lena’s cheek going with her and _finally_ touching her. As Kara used her finger and thumb to roll one of Lena’s nipples, she also licked her tongue over the other, bringing it into her mouth and sucking it. Lena arched her back into it, a quiet moan falling from her lips. 

“ _Fuck_ , Kara.” Lena whimpered as she thread her hand through Kara’s hair, pushing her closer.

Kara took her time, alternating between each breast and leaving an array of bruises as she went. She made sure to leave them all below Lena’s collarbone, knowing there was a big chance the CEO would scold her if she had to wear turtlenecks for the next few days. Lena would be thankful for it in the morning, but in the moment she couldn’t bring herself to care, not when it felt so good.

Soon enough, Kara’s kisses began getting lower and lower until she eventually reached the waistband of Lena’s pants. Lena watched as Kara looked up for permission and as soon as Lena nodded her head, Kara grabbed both her pants and underwear and slid them down Lena’s legs.

Lena thought she might be embarrassed, having Kara see her like this, but the way she was looking at her only made Lena clench her thighs together in a desperate attempt to relieve some of the tension. That didn’t work, however. As soon as Lena tried, Kara pushed her legs further apart, opening Lena up to her.

“You’re so wet already.”

_Fuck,_ Lena thought, how could she ever go back to looking at Kara and seeing such innocence when she said things like _that._

“Do you want my mouth or my fingers?”

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ Lena didn’t die earlier like she thought, but right now it seemed like she genuinely might.

She tried to get the words out of her mouth, but they just weren’t coming out because of how Kara was looking at her. She looked like she was about to devour Lena and, honestly, Lena wouldn't have minded dying like that. 

“What do you want, Lena?” Kara asked again, smirking at the way Lena was squirming under her gaze. 

“Fingers.” Lena eventually answered with a shaky voice. Kara looked at her, still not moving, but raising her eyebrow the smallest bit and Lena knew exactly what that meant.

_She wants me to beg for it._

Lena wasn’t one to beg. In fact, she’d gone through most of her adult life not doing it. And yet, somehow Lena _wanted_ to beg for it now. “Please.” She said helplessly. 

That was all it took for Kara to lean down and press their lips together again as her right hand trailed up the inside of Lena’s thigh. She purposefully avoided where Lena wanted her, not giving in until Lena whined out, “Fuck me Kara, please.”

Kara finally gave in and used her fingers to spread Lena open, her thumb reaching up to rub tight circles on her clit. Lena’s mouth dropped open and her hips bucked up into the feeling. It was only one touch, but Lena already knew Kara had ruined her for anyone else. Not that Lena wanted anyone else. 

Kara slowly put two fingers in, not stretching her too much, but enough for Lena to throw her head back in pleasure. 

_"Yes, fuck.”_

Kara started a steady rhythm, slowly thrusting into Lena to get her bearings on how much strength she could use. Her fingers curled up with each move, making Lena press up in time with it. “Is this okay?” Kara asked and if Lena wasn’t so preoccupied, she might have commented on how sweet and caring Kara was.

But, Lena _was_ preoccupied and instead of saying something nice, all that she could manage to get out was, “Fuck me _harder,_ Kara.”

As it turned out, Kara was good at following instructions. As soon as Lena said it, Kara instantly shifted into a better position while keeping her fingers in place, and in no time, she was thrusting into Lena twice as hard as before and picking up speed. 

“Better?” Kara asked in a cocky tone. Lena tried not to show how much it turned her on when Kara spoke like that, but by the way her cunt clenched as she said it, Lena was sure Kara already knew. 

After a few moments, Lena could already feel herself getting close. It only made it worse when she opened her eyes for a second, looking down and seeing Kara watch as her own fingers disappeared inside Lena. She screwed her eyes shut then, wanting the feeling to last as long as possible. 

“Does it feel good, baby?” Kara muttered as she leaned down, pressing kisses against Lena’s chest and stomach. 

The pet name made Lena clench harder, her stomach dropping with a need to hear Kara say it again. “ _Yes.”_ Lena replied after a particularly deep thrust.

“Are you gonna come for me?” Lena’s fingers tightened as Kara said it, one hand in Kara’s hair and the other on her bedsheets. Kara must have noticed it because not a second later, one of her own hands reached up and laced together with Lena’s.

It was a small act of intimacy, but it pushed Lena closer to the edge. Well, it was that or the way Kara was repeatedly hitting her g-spot as her thumb rubbed against Lena’s clit. Either way, that was all it took for Lena’s hips to snap up, her head thrown back in a silent moan and her entire body shaking with release. 

Kara slowed her fingers, giving Lena time to ride out the waves of her orgasm before gently removing her fingers completely.

“Are you okay?” Kara puffed out, moving to lay beside Lena as both of their chests heaved. 

Lena took a second to catch her breath and then glanced over at Kara with a smile on her face. “I am very much okay.” She answered with a small laugh. “Although,” Lena added, turning on her side and propping herself up on an elbow, “I’m not sure how you managed to get me naked, but stay fully dressed yourself.”

Kara looked down as if it was the first time she realised that she still had all her clothes on. “Maybe you were distracted.” She suggested with a grin on her face.

Something about it made Lena’s heart pound a little fast. She wondered for a second if that was what her life was going to be now. Lena hoped with everything she had that the answer was yes. 

She replied with a hum. “I’m not distracted anymore.” 

With that, Lena bent down to press a kiss into Kara lips, letting herself be pulled on top as she grabbed Kara shirt and lifted it over her head. 

It wasn’t until early that morning when they finally settled down in bed, both exhausted and utterly satisfied. Lena was securely tucked into Kara’s arms with her back pressed against Kara’s front and it made her realise that it was the happiest she’d ever been. 

“I’m so happy I met you.” Kara sleepily whispered into her ear, thinking on the same wavelength as Lena. 

“Me too.” Lena replied softly, her chest tightening when it was met with nothing but Kara’s soft snores. 

She couldn’t wait to spend the rest of her life like that. 

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: @notreallykara


End file.
